Several weeks ago I had a biopsy. The results seemed to come back quick, but that's because I hardly thought about it. About a week ago I got the results. They weren't damning, but they showed a cause for concern-health wise. For me it just was what it was. When the specialist told me that I had "precursors for cancer" I took it in stride. He told me that he was referring me to a Head & Neck doctor. He went on to explain that I "didn't have cancer", but the oncologist could explain things better.
I called the oncologist, shortly after leaving the specialist office. Things became a lil more real when I called and "Cancer Institute" followed the first name. That was the most feeling that I had, but it wasn't one of fear. It was moreso an internal voice saying "Yeah, shit is real!". My worries became my son having to live in this world without me...the sadness my family would feel...the heartache my mother would have to live with, if she loss another child. But as for me, it just was what it was.
Today, I went to see the oncologist. My aunt, my sister and my daughter were with me, and I'm about sure they were more worried than I was. They surely had more questions. lol The doctor isn't terribly concerned, but feels the need to monitor the situation.
I left the visit satisfied. I'm definitely relieved, but I what I learned about myself is that I have no fear of the unknown.